PTSD & the Four Right Relationships of Peace
The Four Right Relationships of Peace
The PTSD sufferer has had their sense of peace damaged and in some cases destroyed. The person is no longer at peace and if one parses the word diseased, that is they are at dis-ease - things are not right, one cannot be at ease.
But what is “Peace”?
I teach a course called the Theology of Violence and Non-Violence. In it I introduce students to a fuller definition of peace than the one that they may be used to or have been conditioned to accept by the media.
Being at peace is more than the absence of physical violence. While a day without physical violence is always a good goal, being at peace is so much more than not getting stabbed today. Peace is an interwoven set of proper relationships. Only when the relationships are properly ordered can one be truly at peace. I was first introduced to some of the following ideas fifteen or so years ago from the work of Glenn Stassen and Michael Duffey. I have theologized them further since then in my own way based on my life experiences of being disabled, underemployed, and a couple decades of PTSD.
To be at peace one must be in right relationships with God, the Self, their Communities, and the Creation.
God: A solid relationship with God will keep one alive regardless of the trauma experienced. Unfortunately, most folks in the US have a twelve year old’s conception of God. This view sees God as Santa Clause and/or a grumpy guy who will smack you. Neither of these are based on Love. They are based on a sort of “Gumball Theology” where one does something and then God reacts with rewards or punishments. A deeper experience of God reveals a God who is not into transactions, he can’t be bought or coerced into acting.
When a person who as an adult receives trauma, he or she may say, “How can God allow that to happen? I don’t believe in God because of (fill in the blank).” Well, when I hear what they think God actually is, I share their disbelief. The problem is that their knowledge and understanding of God has not grown with them into adulthood. They suffer adult level, real world, problems, then turn to a twelve year old’s God and discover only Santa Claus. And, Santa Clause cannot heal the soul wounds from a rape, or killing other people, or watching one of your buddies get hit.
Trauma healing is accelerated when one’s conception of God is mature and is always growing. Warning: This can be a very discomfiting process.
Self: I need to have a right relationship with myself. I am not talking about the self-esteem movement that teaches kids to say, I am and therefore I am right. I am talking about a serious, deep sense of one’s own innate value, one’s own place in the cosmos.
As I have said elsewhere, the Goal of PTSD is to Kill You. Twice as many Vietnam Veterans have killed themselves as there were soldiers ever killed on the battlefields of Vietnam. My own PTSD has made several attempts on my own life. And, now we have numerous PTSD suicides from the current forays into war.
We can keep from killing ourselves if we realize our own value. I learn from Scripture that I have inherent value. In the Genesis 1 account, God created humans in his image, male and female he created them. Each of us is the Imago Dei, the Image of God. In 1st Corinthians, Paul tells us that the presence of God is within us. In eastern religions one is frequently greeted with “Namaste,” often translated as the God/Divine in me sees the God/Divine in you. The point being, we are more than just ourselves, and at the same time each of us is unique and noticed by our own conception of the divine or Holy Other.
At times when I felt I had nothing to live for, when despair was very deep and death played the role of a seducing mistress, knowing that I had this value kept me alive.
Communities: We have multiple communities at any time. Some are long term such as one’s marriage, some are short term such as one’s bowling league. Other communities are formed around what we do and what we are interested in. Clubs, sports, school or religious events. The more communities we are in that affirm our value, the better we are at staving off the worst of PTSD.
PTSD compels its victims to isolate themselves. They withdraw from activities, and some times for good reasons. American society is not a society that promotes healing. Voyeurs want to here the most intimate accounts of how you suffered trauma and gawk at it and you. While at the other extreme some people deny that you even have had hard experiences or say that you should just get over it. Pile on top of that the hit or miss service of the Veterans Administration and the media, and one learns quickly that it is easier to withdraw from society.
That self-imposed isolation sets up some of the preconditions for despair and suicide. Proper relationships with various communities affirm your life, give you value, help to keep you alive. In my experience some associations had to be abandoned as they were toxic to me and would have caused me harm.
Creation: The last right relationship of peace is that of the Creation. I admit to being something of a tree-hugger. At the same time, I acknowledge I need to paper to write on and energy for my research, this blog, etc. Yet, the Creation is a way to see how one is interrelated with God, our individual selves, and various communities.
In the Catholic tradition the creation reveals God to those with the discerning eye to see it. In the beauty of a plant or an animal, I can at times see God. God created the heavens and the earth and said it was Good. In moments of deep stillness and prayer, the Creation reveals the Creator, and that is Good. It promotes life and has saved my own and that of others.
Thank you for hanging on this far into the four right relationships of peace. There they are in a nutshell above, maybe two nutshells. You’re lucky though, the lecture version of this takes even longer.
In the liturgy, just before one engages the Mystical Risen Christ in the Eucharist, we are called to share the sign of peace. This practice dates from earliest Christian times and in the New Testament you will see its roots in Paul’s admonition to greet one another with a Holy Kiss. Just before we receive the Eucharist (Communion) we are asked to give each other the sign of peace. The intent is to be at the most peace you can be with one another as you embrace Christ. Ideally we would each be at perfect peace, yet in our mortal state we strive to be in the best state of peace we can. We are asked to both extend our own peace and to accept it from others. The Eucharist is most efficacious and soul-restoring when we are properly living the four right relationships of peace.
The Four Right Relationships of Peace have shown themselves as an effective way to measure and assess how I am doing as regards my PTSD and its symptoms. It also provides us a framework by which we can objectively build a way to further the healing and life promotion of those who suffer from PTSD for whatever reason.